Mother’s Day. The day we celebrate the woman who gave us life, or gave your children life (if you happen to be the supportive partner with children who can’t quite do the whole commemorating of the day thing on your own). How can one possibly do something for the woman who does it all? How can you show her how much you appreciate her in a way that she will truly appreciate?
Every stage of motherhood is different and for each stage of motherhood comes a whole new wishlist of what she would love on that day. The good news is that, in most cases, it doesn’t require loads of money to achieve either. For women, the moment they become a mother, they become a person divided. They don’t walk out the door without thinking of everyone else’s needs. So realistically, what does a mother really want for Mother’s Day? One hint: it’s probably not flowers and a card.
1. Pregnant Mother: She Wants to be Recognized
The moment a woman becomes pregnant, she becomes a mother. She dedicates your body and much of her heart to growing a human being, her child. It’s no small feat. She will endure what will likely be the greatest discomfort and pain of her life to bring that child into the world, and without a lot of thanks.
So, thank her. Perhaps she’s feeling a little awkward about the Mother’s Day holiday, not knowing if she’s valid to participate, or if anyone will recognize her as a Mother yet. Small gestures like a breakfast in bed, or a note to thank her for what she’s doing (carrying a child) is exactly what she needs.
2. Mother of a Newborn: She Wants a Nap
She wants a FREAKING NAP! She’s exhausted, and every time she tries to take moments to herself they’re interrupted, or ridden with what every mother knows as “mom guilt”.
So prep a bottle, gear up, do whatever you need to do. Give that woman some rest. She needs it, and because it’s “her” day, she might even take that nap guilt free. You’ll be surprised how utterly thankful she is for a seemingly small gesture.
3. Mother of Toddlers: She Wants to Go Out, Alone
One of the hardest parts about motherhood is the complete loss of independence. Everyone needs you, and you come second (or third or fourth). Mothers need to feel like themselves every once in awhile, independant. Don’t get her wrong, she LOVES those kids, but she needs moments away to refresh herself.
Let her know you’re going to look after things at home so she can go out with a girlfriend, just cruise the mall for a while, or go for a walk. This time alone is hers, away from the overwhelming chaos of motherhood, and it will give her some peace to reflect on the wonderful parts of it.
4. Mother of School Aged Children: She Wants a Day Off
Motherhood is a job that doesn’t have days off. Ironically, ask most moms what they want for Mother’s Day and they’ll say “not to Mom”! With school aged children, her weekends are filled with housework, laundry, escorting them from sports event to birthday parties, and groceries in between.
So, for Mother’s Day, do it FOR her. I know it’s gonna jack your weekend, but this is her life, every day. She’s managing a small domestic corporation here and she needs to take a day off. This day she will not do the groceries, scrub the toilets, or make dinner. You can be a gift, by doing those things for her.
5. Mother of Teens and Young Adults: She Wants Quality Time
When mothers hit the stage of life where they begin to let go of their children and be independent once again, it’s hard. There’s so much joy in watching children grow, but there’s a bittersweetness to it all. She is literally teaching them how to leave home.
So they’re beginning to adult and make decisions, less so with Mom’s help. However, she still needs to feel relevant in their lives. However, this looks like for your lifestyle, whether it be a FaceTime call, going out for lunch, or taking the drive to pop in for coffee…just make sure mom sees you and feels remembered.
6. Mother of Adults: She Wants to be Wined & Dined
Her tangible days of mothering are over, but it’s never left her. The worry, the caring, the energy she puts into helping wherever and whenever she can (maybe even babysitting YOUR kids now). Taking her out to show her that she’s appreciated and loved, and making her feel alive is exactly what she needs. If you live too far away, make plans for her to do this on her own, by sending her a gift card with dinner out certificates, or order something in for her!
This may be the one that costs money, but she gets exactly what she wants and deserves. She gets an excuse to dress up and go out, have a meal made by professionals (not her). Indulge her. She needs this! If you can’t afford the dinner out, wine and dine mom in house. No matter what your skill level, she’s going to appreciate it.
